KerryM's blog

After the loss of a beloved furkid, deciding when, or if, to adopt a new pet is a very sensitive topic. For many people, the too-frequently asked question, “So when are you going to get a new dog?” can feel like a slap in the face and just reinforces the person’s perception that no one really understands the magnitude of their loss. I have to admit that I would have fallen into this category myself after Georgia died.

I met a woman recently who had just found out that her beloved 7 year old dog had an extremely aggressive form of cancer. The treatment options were limited, expensive, and offered only a small chance of success. At best, it would extend his life by 2 or 3 months – and the time he had would be taken up, in part, by recovery from a major surgery.

I still remember it vividly – a crisp fall day at the park with Georgia. She had been fighting cancer for months, but her illness was in full remission and from all appearances, she was her happy, normal, energetic self. And me? Well, I was busy crying.

"No one would have ever crossed the ocean if he could have gotten off the ship in the storm." ~Charles Kettering

The worst has happened. You return home from the vet without one of your family members. The house is missing familiar sounds, scents and energy that you had come to depend on each day for comfort and joy. Your heart feels broken. Your beloved pet has died.

When I talk with people who are coping with the loss of their pet, there are always two issues that consistently come up. One is the lack of people who seem to understand how painful it is to love, and lose an animal companion.

As I was walking my bulldog Sampson tonight, I could feel myself getting frustrated as he stopped at what seemed like the eighty-seventh tree on our neighborhood route to pee, and sniff, and kick his back legs in that silly little backwards dance he likes to do to show off to all of the imaginary dogs in the area who may be watching him. What was supposed to be a quick jaunt around the block was taking Fooorrrreeeever.

Today I wanted to share a blog post from a friend of mine who runs the Great Good Heart Animal Cancer Foundation, Jen Schneider. It's a beautiful and heartfelt post that means a lot to be because it is about a dear friend and her beloved daughter Chee, who had to go to the Rainbow Bridge this past weekend.

I was recently reminded about this poem by my friend Teresa and knew that it would resonate with so many other pet parents out there who have been criticized, judged or otherwise made to feel bad for their close and devoted relationship with their dog.

“I feel stuck.”

It’s a common phrase that I hear repeated over and over again by people who have been coping with the loss of a pet.

Have you ever heard the term “closure” before? Are you among those of us who have believed this common myth about the grief process? Are you wondering when and how you will ever find closure over the loss of your pet?